To the Friends of New Moms
Dear Friends & Family of a new mom,
I know you are so excited and thrilled for the new mommy in your life! You love little tiny babies and can hardly resist an urge to hold them, kiss them and touch their sweet little noses. But before you go crazy over that precious new life, please consider a few things.
First, Momma is tired. Daddy is tired. They just spent a very trying and exhausting few days birthing a baby, which is really really hard work! Don’t go to the hospital to visit unless they specifically invite you! Not only is Momma in a hospital gown which exposes way too much for comfort but she’s desperately trying to get her strength back, dealing with major soreness and possibly trying to learn to breastfeed. Just wait!
Then the day they come home from the hospital, please don’t go over right away! They are most likely exhausted and just so ready to be home in their own bed, bathroom ect… Always call or text first and ask if its a good time. Bring food to them, that’s easily frozen or stored. Stay a short amount of time 15-30 minutes is good. Remember babies have to eat frequently and if your new momma is nursing, chances are she’s uncomfortable doing it in front of company and at the same time feels awkward leaving her company sitting alone in the living room.
If you are a close friend or family member ask if you can do laundry or dishes or cook for her. Offer to watch the baby while she sleeps but don’t tell her you’ll hold the baby while she catches up on housework. That’s really not that helpful, she needs rest not chores.
If you have small children do not descend on your friend with them. I know when I had my first I was terrified of small children holding him, which they all want to do! (understandable, but show consideration here ). Especially don’t take your kids over if they have the sniffles or other illness. That goes for you also. If someone in your immediate household is sick don’t visit a momma with a newborn! Its just not nice! Think how miserable that would be if they caught even a minor cold 🙁
Text them, call them or send them a nice card with your congratulations. Drop a meal off but don’t go in during the first weeks. Let them get rested up and let her know that when she’s ready for company you would love to drop by for a short visit 🙂 I can tell you from experience that she will appreciate that all the more and count you an even closer friend than before!
I know you mean well and you love her dearly but please take these thoughts into consideration before your next visit to a new momma!